Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How, exactly, do people survive here?

So, once again, after dorms, killer apartments with terrible roommates, mediocre apartments with the greatest roommates of all time, amazing apartments with an amazing roommate, the floor of a trailer, shiitttyyyy apartments with amazing roommates and floody apartments minus one of those amazing roommates...I am once again about to be homeless.

I cannot stress enough how much I HATE this process. I would have LOVED to stay in VDC and had Pat & Andrew, but they wouldn't let us. I wouldn't have minded at all staying in RSJ, but I had no roommates since I am a failure at school. I would have KILLED to stay in the Renaissance with Lindsay, but we couldn't afford it. Now I move out at the end of August, I am going back to school (theoretically) so my budget has dropped considerably, and Linds is doing god-knows-what since she's got offers to live with other people and now just as much debt as me. Jeff wants his own place; which I get. I want MY own place, too! I want nothing more in life than to have a job that allows me to finish school AND live in a tiny-tiny studio that I don't have to share with anyone.

I used to be a dreamer. I used to think I could be a rockstar or on Broadway or an Imagineer, or own a bar, or all sorts of things. Now life has worn me down to the point where I can't even see a future in my wildest dreams where I can afford a studio apartment and a dog.

So what are my options?

Option A is to move home:
The Positives
  1. Don't have to pay rent. (+40)
  2. Dog & Cat. (+10)
The Negatives
  1. Have to commute to OC 7 days a week (gas prices & traffic) (-40)
  2. Have to commute to OC 7 days a week (inconsistent school/work schedules) (-40)
  3. Have to commute to OC 7 days a week (hate everyone living in the 909) (-40)
  4. Living with my parents. (-20)
Negative 140 points. OK, Option A is out.

Option B is to live with my brother, who is ALSO being pressured to move home:
The Positives
  1. Neither I nor Trevor have to move back to Fontana (+80)
  2. Rent of a studio is 40% cheaper (+20)
The Negatives
  1. Living with my brother (-20)
  2. Absolutely no privacy ever (-50)
  3. Trevor has to pay his own rent by working even longer hours while trying not to fail any more classes. (-30)
Shitty, but at least it breaks even on the "Will Someone Find Me Hanging in my Closet 3 months in" scale.

Option C is some as-yet-undetermined mix of Option B with living with OC people. Trevor and I split a bedroom (hey, at least this plan gives us a door) and 1-5 people live in 2-3 OTHER bedrooms in some magical mystery dream house/apartment.

Add to all of this nonsense that cutting back on work hours in order to finish school means that, EVEN if I took option A with NO rent, I still won't be making enough to cover car insurance, phone bill, credit cards, school loans and gas $. That closet is looking better and better.