Monday, June 28, 2010

Wedding Highlights & Lowlights, or: Why I Love My Family

Lowlights: My makeup was god awful. I looked like a hooker set loose with $15 in the makeup aisle at a Rite-Aid. Also, my hair stylist didn't speak any English. I had prepared by printing out a page with 7 examples of the style of hair I wanted, but apparently only speaking Korean ALSO means that you can't tell what 7 pictures have in common with each other. Instead of a low, loose, curly side bun, I got a high, centered updo and she started to chastise me for not bringing "diamonds and jewels to put in hair." I finally had to say to her, and I quote, "NO. Bride say no diamonds. Bride no like. No." I don't think any of this would have bothered me except they were a full HOUR late even starting on me, so I missed the "helping the bride get ready" part of being a fucking bridesmaid, and then they charged me $140 fucking dollars for whore makeup and bad prom hair. No color or cut or even a GD shampoo. $140 for 15 bobby pins and seven layers of foundation. I almost started crying, but I was afraid it would leave a trail of muddy mascara down my face and I decided I didn't have time to redo it. I can't WAIT to see the pictures! (Also: The photographer was a fucking joke. The pictures taking was a nightmare.)

The Highlights: The location, the flowers, the food, the open bar and the best wedding DJ of all time. OF ALL TIME. There are very few good wedding DJs out there, but this guy was all sorts of win. Other highlights and quotes to remember:

Milroy and Avent having a Morris Day & the Time dance-off.

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Ladies of Prado, reunited!


Sarah, Stephanie, Jen, Zynara, & I
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The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel - The absolute PERFECT first dance song after a long and arduous search.
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Seeing "little Vinny" and Carly Franco all grown up. It's very weird to see the kids you used to babysit after the little one just left her high school graduation party. Carly is the spitting image of her mother, and she and Vinny were choreographed! It was too cute.
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Sally: Nobody fell down!
Mom: Nope, Matt's girlfriend fell down a couple times.
Sally: Well...nobody from our family fell down!
*Sally & I high five*
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Casey's performance. Some ministers quote the Bible or the Torah. Ours quoted The Velveteen Rabbit. Getting Mike's girlfriend to get her internet minister license was the best idea ever.
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My 10 year old nephew, Brandon, adding two bridesmaids to his list as "girlfriends number 3 & 4". Also, Kelly Franco teaching Brandon how to "mow the lawn" and "take out the trash".
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Taking over the last empty room and hanging out in the jacuzzi tub for an hour after everyone went to bed. I have been living with my parents again for over a year now, and staying the night in a beautiful modern hotel room with a giant jacuzzi tub and a pillowtop king bed was better than anything else in the universe ever.
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*Milroy watching little Vinny watching Jovauna*
Milroy: Hey Vin
Little Vinny: Yeah?
Milroy: Will you quit being a little bitch and go shoot fish in a barrel?
Little Vinny: Got it, coach.
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Milroy: Hey, your hair's still up!
Sally: Yeah...I can't figure out how to take it down.
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Vinny and I, after bonding as children by making fun of my little brother together, getting to mock him as we witness his first walk of shame with the maid of honor. It brought a tear to my eye. A big, assholey tear.
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Mike calling me an alcoholic in the best-man speech, then making up for it by taking the fall for me when Jennie found out I told the bridesmaids the Special Olympics story.
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Roop showed up and wasn't on heroin!
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Jennie's face when we called her Mrs. Fazio the next day.
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I avoided the mother of the bride the WHOLE night! Super mega über win.
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Me: Daddy! Come dance with me!
Dad: If I dance to Sweet Caroline, does it make me a Red Sox fan? Because I have standards.
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The "Jentinis". I still don't know what's in them, other than a lot of gin, but they were great.
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In the end everything went great. Jennie stayed very calm until about 5 minutes before they came to get us out of the room. Everyone had a good time. The few panicky things (like Jen's earring breaking and all of us bridesmaids feeling like there was more cake on our faces than the dessert table) were forgotten and the fun little touches Jennie planned (like the flip flops and the candy bar) were huge hits.

OH! And one more memory. As I was all the way down the aisle and turning to take my spot in the big line of green I was starting to get nervous. Am I in the right spot? Do I look terribly fat? Is everything gonna go right? Suddenly all that tension was broken by the small-yet-adorable voice of Dracen, the ring bearer. He exclaimed to his mommy as they were about halfway down the aisle, "I'm doing GOOD!" It was so perfect and cute and reminded us all what we were really doing there and set the mood for the whole night.

Congratulations, Vinny and Jennie Fazio!

Friday, June 11, 2010

YAY for this week!

The event was a blast yesterday: hanging out with the kids from Modern Family, Lenice introducing me to John and his family, and riding the Silly Symphony Swings with my kids, Team Lasseter AND a very drunken Jason Segel. Didn't think it could get any better.

THEN I got the call from RTS to take out a tour tomorrow. JOAN FUCKING CUSACK! It's about fucking time things turned around for me!

Pinch me

Tonight I rode the Silly Symphony Swings with John Lasseter, Jason Segal and the kids from Modern Family. I also saw Terri Hatcher and John Stamos get drenched and pissed off. Did I mention the part where I met John Lasseter? And Jason Segal? Fuck. Fucking tonight, man. I don't have words for this. I got paid to do this. Not a lot, but still. Fuck.