WTF, brain?

OK, so when I was a kid I used to get HUGE crushes on my cousin's older friends. It really all started when I found out that my first crush from the first grade (who doesn't like a 4th grader with a bowl cut?) had not, as I had assumed, graduated the 5th grade and disappeared into the mist, but had actually gone on to subsequent grades and become quite handsome. I found this out when he came over to a party my cousin was throwing for his *high school friends that I had somehow managed to wriggle my way into. (*high school boys were like rockstars back then. This was like getting a backstage pass for a Stones gig.) I went on to fall back into love with him and continued this crush-verging-on-obsession for WAY too long (AKA: I still Fbook stalk. It's ridiculous, but he's just SO DAMN PRETTY!)

Why tell this completely pointless story about Cody Masters and the fact that I never forgave his sister Megan Masters for having my name, because it meant I could never be Megan Masters? Well, because Cody wasn't the only one I fell for. The last one was my cousin's still-best-friend Mike, the incredibly smart raging asshole. Mike is 28, engaged, and a lawyer in NYC, and I'm really fine with all of that, because it was just one of those "forget about it until you're in a room with him" crushes.

Except I just found out that since we are the tallest, we will most likely be paired together at Vinny's wedding. (BTW, I have a "My Cousin Vinny", in case I haven't pointed it out before. It's pretty much the best thing in my life.) So now I'm freaking out because I know that in the desperate state I've been stuck in for the last few months I am not going to be able to hide my stupid-ass-giggling-idiocy from him, only this time it will be as I am taking his arm in a hideous green gown in front of his fiance. FML