"Shut up, Jeff."

In honor of my roommate's calling me on my BS so bluntly this morning, I wanted to post an entry from the book my other roommate got me for Christmas; "Brocabulary: The New Manifesto of Dude-Talk."

Approxidating: Dating someone who is an approximation of another person, sometimes known as a "dopplebanger". You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might just get a girl with a similar cup size and hairstyle, and sometimes that's all you need to help you get over a hopeless obsession. Just make sure you don't go to too much trouble searching for a "body double".

OK, so replace "cup size and hairstyle" with "body type and love of sports" and you have an accurate depiction of my recent idiocy. Thanks, Jeff.

Sorry about all the emo...

OK, this one's gonna be emo; deal with it.

I feel like a couple of different pieces of my heart are all dying at once. Some are a big deal, some are very small, but they're building up on me and I feel like I might drown in them.

First off, Indie 103.1 is gone. FUCK. I listened from the beginning and LOVED this station. I found about 900 new bands thanks to them and now fucking KROQ killed them. Fuck you, Livenation.

More importantly, I have been screwed over by work one too many times. If I have to endure 1 more disappointment from this place that I have worshiped, I'm gonna lose it.

Also, fuck Europe. I'm definitely getting a cat now, because it's the only thing that won't fucking move there without me.

BoyFail.

I don't get it. I honestly don't get why any girl is willing to play stupid little games, and I don't get why any boy would be attracted to girls who do. I sat there last night and watched 2 girls try to out-cutesy each other in the most disingenuous and obnoxious way possible, and I watched a boy I had formerly been attracted to just eat it up.

I can't do that. It may be why I've been single for 5 years, but I just can't make myself do it. Sure, if I WANTED to, I could do it 10 times better than you. Problem is, I just don't want to. I am not going to use the girly-voice to beg for your attention, and I am CERTAINLY not going to raise the pitch of the girly voice each time to get your attention away from the other girl doing the same thing on the other side of you.

I'm not going to pretend I don't know more about sports than you.

I'm not going to pretend I'm drunk so I can hang all over you.

I'll bake you a pie, but I'll do it because I like baking, not because I want to show you what I good housewife I would make.

I'm going to listen to Def Leppard AND Bon Iver, and I don't care if that confuses you, because somewhere out there is a guy who thinks that's awesome, and HE's the one I'm holding out for.

Movie to watch this month: Ed Wood

Eddie: "If I had half the chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage! The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo, so the military are called in to solve the mystery!."
John: "You forgot the octopus."
Eddie: "No, no; I'm saving that for my big underwater climax!"

Regarding my love of the 'stache

No longer are they only for '70s porn stars and child molesters. I love a man with a 'stache, and I thought I'd post a top 5 for them. It's actually more like the first 5 that came to mind, so please post your favorite mustaches that I may have forgotten.


1.) Teddy Roosevelt: a 'stache that says "I'm a fucking GENTLEMAN, and my stick is very big."













2.) Daniel Day Lewis: a 'stache that says "I drink your milkshake!"















3.) Sam Elliot: a 'stache to go with that sarsaparilla.


















4.) a TIE between good friends, Dave Grohl and Jesse "Boots Electric" Hughes: Nothing says raunchy rock and roll like an awesome 'stache.





























5.) Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused: All the good 'staches are on the stoners!

Birthday-bauchery

So, it's decided. We're going to...Stateline?

I found a deal for 2 free nights at Buffalo Bills, so we jumped on it and we all took the deal individually & now we have 4 rooms/8 beds for the 22nd and 23rd at Stateline. We also have $100 in free slots and tickets to a burlesque show!!! lol.

This is going to be the most ridiculous birthday party since FONTOGA, and a fine way to say goodbye to my best friend for a few months. (BTW; FUCK YOU, EUROPE!) And don't worry, Linds...I promise I won't let anyone get your kidney. ;)

For the sake of being succinct

Why is it we all seem to create lists around New Years? Lists of goals for the new year, lists of favorite parts of the year that's gone. I suppose it's for the sake of being succinct. So that when you look back on 2008, you won't have to sift through all the nonsense to find what was important to you. That said, life is in the details to me. I don't want to be a big walking highlight reel; we're more than that. We're made up of all the insignificant interactions, the mundane tasks, and that one song you hated that they played on the radio every 7 minutes. Oh sure, I'm gonna post my lists - but please try to remember that they're not all that I am.

Top 5 Songs of the 2008

1. If the Brakeman Turns My Way - Bright Eyes (Get out of my head, Conor!)
2. Coney Island - Good Old War (Where the hell have you been all my life?)
3. Record Year For Rainfall/Valerie Plame - The Decemberists (I couldn't decide!)
4. Radio, Radio (Live, Washington DC 1978) - Elvis Costello (AuralOrgasm)
5. Lost! - Coldplay ("You know how I know you're gay?")

Top 5 Experiences of 2008

1. Burning the cardboard bar with Andrew: It was the perfect way to say goodbye to my best friend without having to actually say it. I will remember sitting on that beach for the rest of my life.

2. The Decemberists at the Wiltern with Lindsay: Nothing else could have made me happy to have turned down my #1 tour guest.

3. Coldplay at the Pond with Drew: 10 feet away from Chris Martin when he played "The Scientist" with a wonderful new friend? Top THAT.

4. Writing Disney's Happiest Haunts Tour: Having created a product for a company like Disney is a feeling I never really understood until I had done it. It's very hard to put yourself creatively on the line that way, and I will cherish the feeling of immense accomplishment forever. Also, getting to tell Nick and John that my tour out-sold the Holiday tour this year was the best "take THAT" moment of 2008.

5. Getting my first tattoo: Yes, I said first. I got something meaningful, something literary, something I had been doodling on notebooks for 6 years. It took 3 hours and was not pleasant, but the pain was a bit cathartic and I couldn't be happier with the end result.

Top 5 Movies of 2008

1. The Dark Knight - EPIC comic book win
2. Wall-E - John, you've done it again.
3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Dear god, hilarious.
4. Sweeney Todd - I set the bar high for this one, and they met it.
5. Australia - Can we please, for god's sake, get Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale shirtless in a musical already? I don't think it's so much to ask for. Just be hot and sing to me.

Top 5 Books I read in 2008

1. Born Standing Up - Steve Martin
2. The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch
3. Team of Rivals - Doris Kearns Goodwin
4. The Pixar Touch - David A. Price
5. Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 - Hunter S. Thompson

Top 5 Things I Could Not Stop Thinking About in 2008

1. The election
2. Money
3. School
4. Work
5. Ways to trap my friends so they cant all move to fucking Europe.

Top 5 TV Shows of 2008

1. West Wing (It's been off the air for 2 years, and it's STILL the most relevant show on television.)
2. Dr. Who
3. Heroes (I finally got on the bandwagon in '08)
4. The Office
5. Top Gear/Daily Show (tie)

OK, there you have it. I'm sure I forgot a whole lot of things - perhaps I should have done quarterly lists. Fare thee well, 2008!

Alright, already!

I used to write a blog about 6 years ago, but that was at a time in my life when I used it to create drama with roommates and ex boyfriends. Naturally, I realized I was an idiot and the blog faded away into the surely terrifying place where websites go to die. Then about 2 years ago, I tried to start another one to log all of my ridiculous experiences working for Disney, thinking one day I would write an awesome book about it. That one, however, dies as well when I realized that all I was basically doing was coming home to re-live my horrible day all over again by writing about it.

Jump to today, I've decided to try again. I'm hoping this won't become
A) Me being emo
B) Nothing but bitching about my job
C) another forgotten blog
So if it becomes any of those things, please hit me. I plan to just update whenever I feel like it and not advertise that it exists. If friends find it, great. Here goes nothing!