Crazies

I have a new favorite crazy-person-at-Disneyland story!

I'm the Lost and Found working lead (again. balls.)and Amber W. comes back to me and says "I think I have the crazy woman on the night. You're up." I rolled my eyes and went onstage. Little did I know at the time, she had the crazy person of the YEAR.

"I need to know who to talk to about taking back my business." she said forcefully.

"Uh...what business?" I ask.

"THIS business." she says, pointing at the floor/my counter.

"...Lost & Found?..." I venture a guess

"NO. DISNEY. MY BUSINESS."

"Uhm...I'm sorry mam, I don't think I understand. Are you a shareholder?"

"No. I DESIGNED this."

"Oh, are you an Imagineer?" I ask, as the other L&F guests start snickering and one man winks at me.

"NO! I DESIGNED ALL OF DISNEY!"

"Again, I'm sorry...do you mean the theme parks or animation or...?" (Thinking MAYBE she's not nuts and I'm just not getting something. More shocking things HAVE happened.)

"ALL OF IT. Disney! I designed...me and Mr. Linkletter....We...I DESIGNED THIS! I DESI...I need to talk to someone about taking back my BUSINESS!!! GET ME A SUPERVISOR!"

At this point, two guys at L&F walk away from the counter so she won't hear them laughing, and my CMs have one by one moved to the back and closed the curtain so they can listen. I have now given up on thinking it was me. She's clearly off her rocker, so I decide to mess with her just a bit. (We don't get paid enough to not find the fun in encounters like this!)

"I am the supervisor in this location mam. Again, if I understood better what it is you want, I could try to get you a phone number or contact information."

"You are NOT a supervisor for long, I will see to that! I want whoever is in charge."

"Who's in charge of me or who's in charge of the parks or...?"

"DISNEY."

"OK. Our CEO is B..."

"I AM your Chief Executive Officer!"

"Mam, Bob Iger is our Chief Executive Officer"

"Yes. Bob Ig...I am him. I am the Cheif Executive. I designed this!"

I stifle the biggest laugh EVER, and say, "Mam...I hate to disagree, but this was designed in the '50's."

"Yes, I know...the 50s...Don't you think I know that, I designed it! Art Linkletter and I designed it. And it WASN'T Mr. Disney, so don't try that. I designed it. NOw get me someone who can give me back my business!"

"OK, I'm going to get you my supervisor, one moment."

I go in the back and call Lauran with the best parting gift EVER. "Hi, Lauran? I have a woman who is quite irate over at L&F."

"What's her deal?"

"She claims she's Bob Iger, and would like possession of the Walt Disney Company back from Lost and Found."

"I'm not coming over there! Call security!"

So I did. Mike answers in the Com and I tell him I have a 10-99 at Lost & Found. He asks what the concern is, and I say "The woman is claiming to be Bob Iger and would like possession of TWDC back from L&F."

Mike laughs and says, "Really? OK, but I'm putting out over the radio EXACTLY the way you just said it."

"OK!" lol

A few minutes later 3 officers and Delta 1 show up and I fill them in. Unfortunately before they got there, the woman had approached Amber again (who had been the only one brave enough to go back out on the counter with her still there after I walked away). She yelled at Amber, "WHY was I directed here!"

"Uhm...I don't know?"

"I NEEDED GUEST RELATIONS and THAT'S over THERE!" she says as she points at the window.

"Well mam, we're ALL Guest Relations, so they can do the same thing there that I can here. The manager that's coming is the same person either way. You're welcome to go over there if you'd like."

"FINE!" she said as she went and lined up at Marissa's window. Luckily, this was when security arrived, so Marissa was spared (she got stuck with crazy Jasmine man 5 minutes later anyways.)

The woman was a bit calmer with security, but told them her story anyways. Security was smiling and nodding as she recounted her adventures in the 50s (she was like 35) with Art Linkletter designing "Disney". A few minutes into the story, however, and mid-sentance, she stops and says, "I want IHOP."

Delta 1 says, "OK, how about we go to IHOP?"

"Can I go through Downtown Disney?"

"No, You need to go out this way."

"OK" she says, and they follow her all the way to Harbor to make sure she's off property.

Scene.

Dear Ugly Girls...

...making a stupid fishy face in every picture you take will not distract people from the fact that you are obnoxious. In fact, it reminds them. That is all.

Over it all.

I am broke. I have borrowed money from my parents and grandparents just to pay the rent, and even after that I still don't have enough to cover utilities. I have had a 2 inch rip in the side of my work shoes for 4 months, and I would like to replace them. I have been living on Vons-brand macaroni and cheese since August, NOT because I'm a fatty but because it's 75cents a box, and I would LIKE to start buying healthy foods like salads so I could lose some weight. I have had a 13" crack in my windshield for a YEAR, and I haven't been able to afford the deductible on my insurance to get it fixed (and this goes for the thousands of dollars in body-damage as well), and outside of the pipe-dream of one day having a NEW vehicle with a back seat, I would LIKE to fix up the truck.

I would LIKE to go to dinner with you.
I would LIKE to go out for drinks tonight.
I would LIKE to go see Watchmen with you at midnight.
I would LIKE to visit you in Florence.
I would LIKE to visit you in Manchester.
I would LIKE to visit you in Accra.
I would LIKE to LIKE MY LIFE.

But I can't afford to right now, so stop giving me guilt because I don't hang out with you enough. You're right, BOTH of our bank accounts are overdrawn right now. Yet somehow you will get a tour that tips you well and you'll spend the whole thing on a flight to Hawaii to hang out with your guests because, 'Oh well, I'll pay back the people I owe money to NEXT time!', while I will do the responsible thing and spend the little money I have now that I HAVEN'T had a tour since New Years on paying off the $500 over limit credit card, the $2300 loan from my family, and the ungodly amount I owe on the education I can't seem to finish. And what will I get for doing the right thing?

Everyone I know will treat me like a bad friend who doesn't want to spend time with them.