Crazies

I have a new favorite crazy-person-at-Disneyland story!

I'm the Lost and Found working lead (again. balls.)and Amber W. comes back to me and says "I think I have the crazy woman on the night. You're up." I rolled my eyes and went onstage. Little did I know at the time, she had the crazy person of the YEAR.

"I need to know who to talk to about taking back my business." she said forcefully.

"Uh...what business?" I ask.

"THIS business." she says, pointing at the floor/my counter.

"...Lost & Found?..." I venture a guess

"NO. DISNEY. MY BUSINESS."

"Uhm...I'm sorry mam, I don't think I understand. Are you a shareholder?"

"No. I DESIGNED this."

"Oh, are you an Imagineer?" I ask, as the other L&F guests start snickering and one man winks at me.

"NO! I DESIGNED ALL OF DISNEY!"

"Again, I'm sorry...do you mean the theme parks or animation or...?" (Thinking MAYBE she's not nuts and I'm just not getting something. More shocking things HAVE happened.)

"ALL OF IT. Disney! I designed...me and Mr. Linkletter....We...I DESIGNED THIS! I DESI...I need to talk to someone about taking back my BUSINESS!!! GET ME A SUPERVISOR!"

At this point, two guys at L&F walk away from the counter so she won't hear them laughing, and my CMs have one by one moved to the back and closed the curtain so they can listen. I have now given up on thinking it was me. She's clearly off her rocker, so I decide to mess with her just a bit. (We don't get paid enough to not find the fun in encounters like this!)

"I am the supervisor in this location mam. Again, if I understood better what it is you want, I could try to get you a phone number or contact information."

"You are NOT a supervisor for long, I will see to that! I want whoever is in charge."

"Who's in charge of me or who's in charge of the parks or...?"

"DISNEY."

"OK. Our CEO is B..."

"I AM your Chief Executive Officer!"

"Mam, Bob Iger is our Chief Executive Officer"

"Yes. Bob Ig...I am him. I am the Cheif Executive. I designed this!"

I stifle the biggest laugh EVER, and say, "Mam...I hate to disagree, but this was designed in the '50's."

"Yes, I know...the 50s...Don't you think I know that, I designed it! Art Linkletter and I designed it. And it WASN'T Mr. Disney, so don't try that. I designed it. NOw get me someone who can give me back my business!"

"OK, I'm going to get you my supervisor, one moment."

I go in the back and call Lauran with the best parting gift EVER. "Hi, Lauran? I have a woman who is quite irate over at L&F."

"What's her deal?"

"She claims she's Bob Iger, and would like possession of the Walt Disney Company back from Lost and Found."

"I'm not coming over there! Call security!"

So I did. Mike answers in the Com and I tell him I have a 10-99 at Lost & Found. He asks what the concern is, and I say "The woman is claiming to be Bob Iger and would like possession of TWDC back from L&F."

Mike laughs and says, "Really? OK, but I'm putting out over the radio EXACTLY the way you just said it."

"OK!" lol

A few minutes later 3 officers and Delta 1 show up and I fill them in. Unfortunately before they got there, the woman had approached Amber again (who had been the only one brave enough to go back out on the counter with her still there after I walked away). She yelled at Amber, "WHY was I directed here!"

"Uhm...I don't know?"

"I NEEDED GUEST RELATIONS and THAT'S over THERE!" she says as she points at the window.

"Well mam, we're ALL Guest Relations, so they can do the same thing there that I can here. The manager that's coming is the same person either way. You're welcome to go over there if you'd like."

"FINE!" she said as she went and lined up at Marissa's window. Luckily, this was when security arrived, so Marissa was spared (she got stuck with crazy Jasmine man 5 minutes later anyways.)

The woman was a bit calmer with security, but told them her story anyways. Security was smiling and nodding as she recounted her adventures in the 50s (she was like 35) with Art Linkletter designing "Disney". A few minutes into the story, however, and mid-sentance, she stops and says, "I want IHOP."

Delta 1 says, "OK, how about we go to IHOP?"

"Can I go through Downtown Disney?"

"No, You need to go out this way."

"OK" she says, and they follow her all the way to Harbor to make sure she's off property.

Scene.